I don't hate women, just this specific woman.

Sarah Palin is a woman who is against abortion, pro-"consumer driven" healthcare (women use healthcare way more than men do), and does not know how to pronounce "nuclear" or "Iraq" correctly. I hate how she talks about how she is going to be the one to break the glass ceiling that so many feminists before her have cracked. She doesn't get to do that. She is not a feminist! If you don't believe that a woman should have full autonomy over every part of her body, just as a man does, you are not a feminist. If you believe that a woman should be subservient to her husband, you are not a feminist.

I don't really like a woman who thinks she's better than me because she didn't abort her Down Syndrome kid. Does the GOP actually think (legitimate) Hillary Clinton supporters will fall for this? I care more about keeping my reproductive rights than having a woman in office, thanks.

In related news, this is some funny shit:

No more wisdom teeth!

All four of my wisdom teeth came out yesterday morning. I rocked the full anesthesia, because I can't deal with mouth-related ailments. Because I can't turn my face away from my mouth. I don't see the huge deal everyone makes about the Nitrous, I thought I was going to suffocate and it wasn't really pleasurable until when my arm started to go numb from the anesthesia. Surgery took about 40 minutes, despite the fact that I know they had to break at least two teeth to get them out.

They called ahead my prescriptions to my pharmacy, but when I got there, they hadn't been filled yet. Well, the joke was on Target, because I wandered around their store drooling blood and chanting "WHERE'S MY VICODIN" until my prescription was filled.

I don't think the Vicodin is doing much. I really should've requested Percocet. In the meantime, I'm taking Motrin between my Vicodin doses to deal with the swelling. My surgeon called last night to check in on me, which was awfully nice of him. Provided I don't start feeling worse all of a sudden (I'm dreading the "kicked in the face by a mule" level of pain), he's going to get a great review on Yelp from me.



Last night I woke up around 3:30 in a ton of pain. I popped a couple of Motrins (I'd hit my Vicodin quota for the day), iced my face and just lay there until I felt groggy enough to fall asleep again. Fortunately, I woke up this morning with no gross blood jello in my mouth and I got the feeling in my lower lip back. I've been awake for no more than an hour and I'm ready to take a nap.

I found some vegan miso soup at the grocery store last night (impulse run for mashed potatoes), and I'm psyched to start eating some semi-solid food soon.

Will take more pictures later this evening. Unfortunately, I don't think my face is going to look more hilarious than this. I'm just putting these up so Nicole can ask me what the hell is wrong with my face like 50 times, because she deserves to.

Oh dear.

So, a couple of days ago I faxed some paperwork to my sales manager. I got an email this morning saying no one had received it. So, in my special passive-aggressive way, I faxed over the paperwork with the confirmation sheet that I had sent it previously.

I got this snarky-sounding email stating that my sales manager's fax number has changed (and apparently I should've been aware of this) with a "have a good weekend!" closer. Okay then.

A couple hours later, the sales manager sends out a mass email, as he is wont to do when he needs to point out a mistake to just one person.

Ladies and Gents,

The fax number [old fax number] which some of you fax stuff to is no longer the fax number where I am located, so if you fax something there I generally do not see it for a couple of days or more.

Please update your records with the two fax numbers that you can use to send something to me:

Main Corp Fax: [new number]
Corp eFax: [another new number]

Thanks!

[company]
[sales manager name]
[address]
[800 number]
[local number]
[old fax number] Fax
[email address]
[website]

On the plus side, after today I'm on (wisdom tooth removal) vacation for a few days. Hopefully I should stop snickering by that point.

Gold medal in awkward work situations

The Olympics have been incredibly confusing this year, as I keep momentarily confusing the world record-breaking, gold medal-winning swimmer, Michael Phelps with the Michael Phelps I used to work for. You know -- the guy who smoked in the hospital (in his office next to the maternity ward) and drunkenly wandered the halls after 4 in the afternoon.

In other news, I think one of my ovaries exploded yesterday. Guess I should see a doctor that isn't convinced I have gonorrhea or an ectopic pregnancy. On the plus side, my wisdom teeth come out a week from today.

Well, at least it's not meth.

You know your day's going to be interesting when the first lead of the morning evokes the response, "Isn't this The Crackhead?"