done!

I think I'm bailing on Post Everything... Month. It's not that I'm ashamed of what I eat or whatever, but I'm just sick (still! I know!) and not eating much and when I do eat, it's something quick and bland and just plain boring.

The plus side is, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I'll bring up the fact that I've been sick (for almost three weeks at this point), and maybe my doctor will decide antibiotics will help me. Or something. I am cautiously optimistic.

One big development in the area of personal growth: I've officially decided that I am done with doing things that make me miserable. I know I thought I deserved to feel miserable before, but now I'm working and doing pretty well in life, so there's no reason for me to even consider punishing myself. You know how you read blogs because you sort of know the person, and you kind of feel obligated to do so, but you feel like crap after reading? I'm done with that. Why should my leisure activities bring me down? PVP in World of Warcraft because I could use the gear upgrade? Done with that. Once again, if I'm playing a game for fun, why would I do something in the game that I hate doing?

I feel like anger forces me to say and do things that I later regret or will otherwise cause me more grief. Since I know I have a temper, and I have a huge complex about being slighted, I've decided it's best to avoid as many causes of my anger as possible. I think this is going to be easy for me, because I pretty much love my job (the commute probably not so much), so that's one source of stress most people have that I really don't.

The hardest part is going to be ignoring people. I take insults to heart, and there are a lot of toxic people in my extended network of friends. I'm tired of telling myself that people's actions and words aren't "worth" getting angry or upset over; those feelings are totally rational, and it's really my mother's voice telling me this - not my own. So instead of getting angry and swallowing it, I'm going to avoid those sources of anger. And really, how much can you value a friendship that is such a burden to you? You don't. And I'm done.

Motherflipper.

I've had the same goddamn cold for over two weeks now. The worst part of it is that you're supposed to go to a doctor if you're sick for something like more than ten days, but it's fairly common knowledge that most colds are caused by viruses. Therefore, seeing my doctor about this would be a total waste of time, unless I have mumps or something (which I don't).

I spent all day on the couch yesterday eating calories (some of them not empty) and I feel just as crappy today, which is to say, pretty goddamn crappy.

Riddle me this -- I am one of the healthiest eaters I know and I walk at least 2 miles briskly everyday. Explain how everyone else got sick for 2 days and I got sick for 2 weeks.

I am too mad to list the food I ate. Though warming up a slice of pizza sounds pretty good right about now.

Edit: Jeez, Target brand foods are so cheap. This makes me moderately happy, but not enough to cancel out the fact that I've been sick for almost forever.

sick again.

Okay, so the past few days for dinner I've been eating the aforementioned black bean cornbread pie. It came out deliciously - we substituted melted unsalted butter for the the oil in the cornbread, a red bell pepper for the green (really the only thing green bell peppers taste good on, to me, is pizza), and a can of diced tomatoes with jalapenos in (we also added about a whole pepper-sized amount of sliced jalapenos from a jar, because we're lazy but like spicy things a whole lot) for the can of crushed tomatoes.

It was amazing. But let me tell you something - when you make the cornbread topping, and it doesn't look like enough.. trust me, it is! We made a second batch because the first we made failed to completely cover the top of the casserole, and when baked, the cornbread expands like.. something that expands a lot!

As you can probably tell from my garbled use of the English language, I'm sick again. I thought I was fine and then yesterday, right before lunch, I relapsed. My throat swelled up something fierce and the last four hours of work were pretty miserable. After a miserable night of tossing and turning and waking up to blow my nose (I briefly considered taking a picture of a particularly disgusting blow.. but thought the better of it, mostly because I didn't want someone thinking I'd eaten it), my alarm went off at 6 and I burst into tears because the idea of spending 90 minutes commuting so I could work dry office building just did not sound appealing to me. So today I begrudgingly took my first sick day.

I anticipated getting an earful from my father for calling in, because 1) this is my third week at work and 2) my dad hasn't been out of work sick for at least the past 5 years. I must've sounded horrible because he told me to go back to bed and take the day off.

So anyway, here's a diagram/sketch I did of my lunch yesterday, for Draw Everything You Eat in Your Blog Day. I am sorry I slacked off so much and that half this picture is really crappy because of my stupid camera phone:



Today for breakfast and lunch I ate this weirdly delicious soup Steve made me, along with some vanilla yogurt (no frozen fruit, too weak to root through the freezer) and a couple handfuls of chocolate chips. Tonight I'm planning to have a Root Beer Float! This is especially exciting, because today at the grocery store I learned that Jones Soda makes 12-packs of soda, so I bought a case of the root beer for my floaty needs.

Remembering is going to be hard!

Saturday:
- Trader Joe's "Honey Bunches of Oats"-type cereal
- A weird Crystal Light Slurpee (I couldn't taste anything and wanted to numb my cruddy-feeling throat)
- Aloo Chole at this really nice Indian restaurant with obligatory rice and delicious garlic naan.
- Four beers at Theresa's (three UFOs and this weird Magic Hat IPA that I don't know if I really liked).. I don't think I actually ate anything. Oops.

Sunday:
- I think I ate cereal again for breakfast.
- Chips and salsa (like, an entire bag of chips) for lunch
- Fell asleep, woke up and Nate came over. We ate cheese and crackers.

Monday:
- Cereal in the morning again.
- Some really yummy Gouda at Nate's.
- and another Slurpee, but this one was "gamer.. something" Mountain Dew flavor. It claimed to have cherry flavoring but it was pretty much nondescript citrus.
- Some Trader Joe's Indian Fare (lentils and kidney beans in some sort of yummy sauce) with rice.

Today:
- More cereal
- Sandwich on a whole grain English muffin, with cheddar horseradish cheese and some veggie "ham" and a little bit of mustard.
- Half an apple and some grapes.
- Blanched carrots with Italian dressing.
- Pistachios.

And now we're in the middle of baking a black bean cornbread pie that we kind of winged a bit (and added butter to), and hopefully it will be delicious and done in less than 10 minutes. I sure am hungry again!

I'm feeling much better. I know this because I'm actually hungry and not leaking fluids from every orifice.

still sick.

Okay, yesterday for breakfast I ate the Trader Joe's equivalent of Honey Bunches of Oats.



Lunch was a whole-wheat English muffin spread with sunflower seed butter and topped with dried cranberries, carrots, fruit salad and some cheese and crackers. My throat un-swelled enough that I could eat carrots semi-easily.

For dinner, we made tri-color rotini with some jarred spicy tomato sauce. Then I finished the rest of my banana split ice cream while watching Lost. I love Sayid episodes!

This morning I chose to wake up later, so no delicious packed lunch. I got lazy and just ate a Kashi granola bar (trail mix flavor) for breakfast. Today is the first day in awhile that I don't feel like going to work. My entire head still feels congested, and it's quite unpleasant.

So. Tired.

Whew! Three days of meals to recap!

All three mornings (Monday, Tuesday and today), I had Target cheerios for breakfast.

Monday and Tuesday I had salad for lunch (I swear, the restaurant is rationing olives like some places ration bacon).

Today I ate this for lunch:


Toasted pita, red pepper hummus, carrot sticks, fruit salad and pistachios.

For dinners:
- Monday: Leftover pizza (artichoke and sun-dried tomato) and some Ben & Jerry's Banana Split ice cream.
- Tuesday: Veggie fried rice and veggie gyozas (thanks, Trader Joe's!).
- Today: a Quorn "chicken" patty and mac & cheese (so unhealthy, but today's weather was awful and I fell down in the snow on the way to work because no one shovels sidewalks and sat around in damp pants all day and then got soaked walking home from the train in a downpour... so I really needed comfort food)

Now I'm going to drink some tea and eat more banana split ice cream. I've been sick with a sore throat and other crappy heady ungoodness for a couple of days now. One half of my throat unswelled overnight last night, but the right side is still fairly swollen.

I think it was Sunday night that I horked up the hugest, grossest tonsil stone I've ever seen. I should've taken a picture, but I was half-asleep in bed at the time.

Forget Norway!

Friday night I ate macaroni and cheese for dinner.

Saturday:
Cheese and crackers for breakfast.
Pita and hummus for sort-of-lunch.
Half a blueberry muffin for second sort-of-lunch.
Half a huuuuuge falafel sandwich and a small order of onion rings for dinner.

Sunday:
The other half of the sandwich for breakfast.
Two (!!) Bertucci's rolls.
Half an individual pizza topped with sun-dried tomatoes and artichokes.
Harpoon IPA.
Target (Archer Farms, I guess) blood orange soda.

We went to the Barker Tavern open house today to see if we wanted our wedding there. I hated it. I don't want to get married anywhere that has doilies, tea cozies or chair covers. I'm seriously wondering how much it costs to get married at the Museum of Science.

...Steve wants to have a metal wedding. I think it would be cool to get married in Sweden.

Oh! It's been ten years since In the Aeroplane Over the Sea was released!

Kill me.

Thursday:
- Target generic honey nut cheerios.
- Eggplant parm sandwich
- Grilled cheese with sweet potato soup.
- A couple of beers (Harpoon Winter Warmer always disappoints me).

Today:
- Target generic honey nut cheerios.
- Two slices of cheese pizza (I love Wellesley House of Pizza).
- uhhhh... whatever I eat for dinner.

Dear god, please kill me so I don't have to go back to work on Monday. I wonder if my father would yell at his assistant if she wasn't also his daughter. I don't even have my own desk yet. I'm frustrated and miserable and I still have to see my parents both days this weekend.

Just a hint: if you are on the train when people are commuting home from work (i.e.: between 4:30 and 6:30) SHUT THE FUCK UP. I wanted to beat the shit out of these 5 teens that got on one stop before me and never stopped yelling for the entire ride. Yes, 60 minutes of straight yelling.

If I wasn't completely unemployable otherwise, I would totally quit my job. I wonder if any Swedish death metal bands need a drummer - that sounds like a fun new job prospect.

Super Tuesday!

Tuesday, February 5:
- Target brand honey nut cheerios.
- A Clementine (it was kind of dry, and I was disappointed).
- A salad from basically the only reasonably priced takeout place nearby (I can't wait to get our lunch boxes!).
- A Gardenburger Riblet, Trader Joe's macaroni and cheese, green beans (with Italian dressing. Every vegetable tastes better with Italian dressing).
- Some pistachios right now.

I might eat another Clementine before the night is out, because I'm still disappointed about the one from earlier today.

Today's commute was a little shorter, but significantly wetter (hooray for rain boots!). I got eight hours of sleep last night, so waking up at 6am was mostly tolerable. My commute takes approximately 90 minutes, if I allow for the T sucking (and it does suck, frequently). Dad says he doesn't want to be taking an extra 3 hours out of my day for work, but it's essentially the same amount of extra time I was putting in at UCLA. I think working a 40 hour week in general makes me weary, and I don't think I'll ever get used to it.

Work is fun and really helping me to rehabilitate myself re: interaction with other human beings. I'm not living in complete fear of screwing up, like I was at UCLA, so I guess that's good.

I have a consultation set up for my wisdom teeth surgery on April 15th. I foresee a couple months of pain. Damn.


Edit:
Me: DAMN YOU STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS.
COMMONWEALTH

Tom: everyone in boston really must be racist

Me:FUCK YOU, TRADITIONAL WORKING-CLASS DEMOCRATS.

Tom: (racists)

Tiredness. Foodfulness.

For Sunday, February 3:
- vegetarian chili
- with crackers!
- tortilla chips with salsa
- pizza with mushrooms, onions and garlic (like, half-cloves just thrown on the pizza. Awesome)
- couple o' beers
- 2 glasses of wine (I put frozen berries in mine)
- enough bourbon to drown any memory of this year's super bowl.

Today, Monday, February 4:
- Target brand honey nut cheerios
- coffee from Dunkin' Donuts
- eggplant parm sandwich

I should probably contemplate dinner at some point. I would like to buy a laptop lunch box for work lunches, especially since there aren't many good places to eat around the office. Well, not anywhere healthy, anyway.

I am so tired. My commute to work takes about 90 minutes, and I kind of forgot I have to cross some on/off-ramps from 128 that have no crosswalks. I should really wear sneakers for the walk so I don't fall down and get run over by a bus. Waiting for a Lechmere train on the way home blows. The end.

More food!

Today, Saturday February 2, I have eaten:
- "Southwestern" scrambled eggs with chipotle cheddar cheese mixed in (the cheese is made by Cabot and is delicious and you should buy some).
- Toast with butter and sunflower seed butter.
- A Trader Joe's bean and cheese burrito.
- Tortilla chips and salsa.
- Legitimate Thin Mint flavor ice cream (it's made by Edy's/Dreyer's and it's limited edition - very yummy).
- Two beers (god damn, do I ever love Circus Boy).

Tomorrow I have the Puppy Bowl and then the Super Bowl lined up into the late evening, so I expect a lot of snacking. We found this great liquor store on Route 28 near our apartment (they seem to actually have Shipyard!), so I also expect a ton of beer in future postings. It's a good thing part of my commute to work is going to be walking.

February is...

...Post Everything You Eat in Your Blog month!

I'm only going to post things that contain For Real Calories. So you don't see a list of 20 glasses of water, and so I don't find out how much Diet Coke I actually drink in a month.

Today, Friday the 1st, I have eaten:
- coffee with a little too much sugar in it.
- a "the works" bagel from Trader Joe's, one half spread with unsalted butter, the other half spread with sunflower seed butter and topped with dried cranberries (I'm getting good at toasting stuff with the broiler!).



- a Clementine (it had a seed in it, which freaked me out and put me on Seed Watch for the rest of the eating process. There were three seeds in total. It was otherwise delicious).
- some salt and vinegar potato chips.
- tri-color pasta with spicy red pepper (?) sauce.
- some chips and salsa.
- three beers!



Hot damn! The Puppy Bowl doesn't actually interfere with the Superbowl! Hooray! And Lost is back! More hooray!