Bah. I wasn't your friend anyway.

Apparently I cannot change my last name to Explosion when I get married because according to Facebook, it is a fake name. I made a half-assed appeal to get my account reactivated but it doesn't look good and I kind of stopped caring anyway, since I only used Facebook to check out pictures of events I'd been at. And then there's all that creepy stuff going on. And the breastfeeding overreaction thing.

For the record:

1. When I made the name change, there was never a warning anywhere that said "USE YOUR REAL NAME OR ELSE!" and it was never in the TOS when I originally signed up. Nothing ever said, "you will need a scan of your birth certificate to sign up."


2. Facebook has no qualms about stating whether or not you do indeed have a fake name. Not "we believe your name is fake," but rather "this name is fake." My current legal name could be accused of being fake, as it is the same name as a popular female model. And gods help you if you're like one of my unfortunate customers and your last name is a word for "ass." And your first name is a word for "vomit."


3. Facebook thought that "Blatcher" was a fake name.


4. Their complaint about "fake" names is "Facebook is built around real world interactions. Operating under an alias detracts from the value of the system as a whole." I listed my maiden name and changed my name to my future married name. Apparently I was still able to maintain "real world interactions" or whatever because both of my sisters and a couple of my cousins were able to find me using my current legal name just fine. Some people are better known by an alias or pseudonym than their legal name. Additionally, I find it funny that Facebook thinks that it has some sort of intrinsic value.


5. The other complaint about fake names is that they are apparently more likely to be abuses of the system (e.g.: spambots). I have been an active member of Facebook since it was made available to my college, and it is pretty obvious that I am a real person.


6. Both of my sisters are using "fake" names and are listed by their maiden names -- despite being married (and having legally changed their names).


7. So anyway, if I'm not on your friends list anymore, I didn't dump you as a friend. But uh, if you're from Emerson I probably wanted to.

Oh, and having the sniffles makes me grumpy.

Things I hate right now:
1) The term "passed away." I've expounded on this before, I believe.
2) My job, because I'm realizing that it's making it totally impossible for me to find or go to a therapist.
3) Medicine, because apparently the only solution to my horrible death cramps is a higher dose of birth control (and I cannot trust myself to take a pill at the same time every day).

Things I love right now:
1) Rachel Maddow podcast of the entire show.
2) My new-ish boots, which keep my feet warm and dry without making me look hideous.
3) Finally watching the first season of 30 Rock, which may be the only (intentionally) funny show on television right now.

Resolutions:

For 2009, I want to:
1) Stop biting my nails.
2) Get married.
3) Pack lunch for work 3x a week (or more!).
4) Meet a gnu.

Favorite presents this year:
1) Shirt promoting butter (and denouncing margarine).
2) KitchenAid mixer (in apple green -- can't wait to try out the ice cream maker attachment).
3) A gorgeous cast iron tea set.