Was I just a fool?

Things I am bitter about in retrospect:
Being forced to sing along to Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" on State Day in 5th grade. Yes, it was a public school. And it was 1995.

Oh, and I cannot get over the way Stevie Nicks sings at Lindsey Buckingham during "Silver Springs." It starts out perfectly normal, and then their eyes meet at about 2:40 and then it gets serious. I get chills around 4:55.



She's like, physically exhausted at the end. Man, I remember watching this back in 1997 and I totally did not pick up on this. This was "You Oughta Know" for 1977. This was everything about Dan Metthe.

Oh, Jezebel's "Fine Lines" is about Go Ask Alice this week and upon noticing this, I inhaled at least half a cracker. Fine Lines is my favorite column of all time I think. But then again, I pretty much majored in YA fiction.

so where's my moral parallel?

I finally called Emerson to be taken off their mailing list. Hopefully they'll honor that request.

In related news, I got around to changing my address about a month ago, but for some reason some of my mail is still getting delivered to my parents' house. This includes mail that is actually kind of important, like credit card statements. I really don't care if catalogs don't make their way to my apartment.

The Bush administration believes that many forms are birth control are tantamount to abortion. I haven't heard such bullshit since Catholic school's "every sex act must be open to the possibility of conception." Which, y'know, is a really lame-ass argument against birth control, because everything has a failure rate including sterilization.

Anyway, apparently I've had like a million abortions at this point. Even though it's a well-known fact that hormonal birth control and plan B are not abortificants and people only call them that because they want to punish women for enjoying sex (no one yells at men for using condoms). I wonder how many "abortions" George W. Bush has been responsible for! It's not a big deal to me, morally speaking. Hell, I think women should be able to throw colicky babies out a 5th floor window because if that isn't cause for temporary insanity, what is?

Not all life is sacred, dammit. Not even George W. Bush believes that, because he's currently using the Zapp Brannigan method of fighting a war: sending wave after wave of his own men at the killbots until they reach their pre-programmed kill limit and shut down. Terrists are the same thing as killbots, right?

And an FYI: the coathanger was real.

Duh sys-dum is down.

Things "the system" ("duh sys-dum") can refer to, according to my father:

1. Clientele, the software we use to catalog leads, contact information and pending deals. e.g.: "Will you make sure this deal is in duh sys-dum?"


2. The company's credit checking website. e.g.: "Does duh sys-dum have credit information on X company?"


3. Experian's credit checking website. e.g.: "Okay, this is ready [to be sent to operations]. Run credit in duh sys-dum for me."


4. One's own computer and/or that computer's hard drive. e.g.: "Oh, you have [X document] saved in your sys-dum?"


5. Citrix remote access of programs and/or the remotely accessed drives (personal and shared). e.g.: "I can't get into duh sys-dum! I need to use [Microsoft] Word!"


6. The Internet in general. e.g.: "Could you use duh sys-dum to mapquest directions from X place to Y place?"

Yes, I am still job searching. In the meantime, stay tuned for more lists of ridiculous things my father says.

I really need a new job. One I can walk to.

Riders of the MBTA, please stop eating on the train. It looks disgusting, and 99% of the time it also smells disgusting. It's like Angela Chase said: "I mean, if you stop to think about, like, chewing. What it really is. How people just do it. Like, in public." I wouldn't wave my socks in your face or clip my nails on the train, so why would you ever subject me to the hideous smell of your McDonalds breakfast?

Additionally, who the hell eats food without washing their hands first? ESPECIALLY if you've touched any surface on a train? Okay, I'll cut you a break. No eating anything that requires a utensil or anything that is not already bite-sized or cannot be torn into small bites. And nothing that makes a smell, period. Giant sandwich? Not cool. Cereal with milk? Nauseating. Muffin? Fine as long as you don't faceplant into it.

If you follow these simple rules, you too could one day be the perfect commuter.

Next lesson: figuring out if other people can hear your music despite the fact that you are using earbuds.